Yielding: Please, Sir: Erotic Stories of Female Submission

I don't like to be bossed around. I don't consider myself to be submissive, and my husband doesn't either. But.

The idea of being restrained, of being NOT in control, of being told what to do ... why do these thoughts turn me on? Why do I get a rush when my hands are held together over my head? Why does a little bit of pain seem to make my body respond so strongly? I don't know the answer, but I do know that reading the stories in Please, Sir: Erotic Stories of Female Submission have had a much stronger effect on me than I had anticipated. (Disclaimer–I've not read all of them yet). The stories in this new collection of BDSM erotica, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, explore "female submission and male dominance from the sub's point of view." The women in these stories are "smart enough to know that kink is not about simply embracing one's fears, but grappling with them, battling with them, taking risks and seeing if, in fact, they yield sexy rewards."

It's getting close to midnight as I type this. I know I'm resisting. I don't want to go to the places my mind is going right now. Earlier this evening, I was talking with Emerald (author of the story "Power over Power") on the phone, and she said something about "intimacy with self" (I wasn't taking notes, but I did jot this down). And I'm tired and I don't recall the exact context, but that struck a chord with me. We have to get very intimate with ourselves, to accept whatever kinkiness lies within us. Sometimes what we want is not what we think we want.

Like I said, I've not read all the stories yet. But all the ones I have, even the stories that have at their center something that I just can't wrap my mind around, have been engaging and thought-provoking as well as arousing. I would heartily recommend this book if you are taking part in NaMaMo (for National Masturbation Month). That blog was started by Shanna Germain, whose story "Anticipation" starts off Please, Sir.

Here's the book trailer for Please, Sir.




Also, at the Please, Sir blog, there are some interesting posts, including interviews with some of the authors, excerpts from the book, as well as tidbits like info about the gorgeous corset on the book cover.

While some of the stories involve pushing limits and receiving physical punishment, some are more about psychological power play, such as Donna George Storey's "Just What She Needs," which involves a reversal of sorts.

What I'm wondering right now (when it's getting so late that I really need to stop wondering) is what some of the authors felt as they were writing these stories. Were they exploring territory they are familiar with or unfamiliar with? How much is autobiographical and how much imagination? You don't have to tell which is which, LOL. Unless you want to. Also, if in the writing of the story, you discovered something about yourself that maybe you weren't as aware of before.

And if you're not in this anthology, please comment on your thoughts about the whole submission/dominance topic and how it relates to your writing (if you write).

The last line on the back of the books says it all: Find out why nothing is as hot as the power of the words "Please, Sir."

Perversion

Hehe. Now that I have your attention...

According to my dictionary widget:

perversion (not gonna type the pronunciation because I don't know how to make my letters do those things)

noun

-the alteration of something from it's original course, meaning, or state to a distortion or corruption of what was first intended

-sexual behavior or desire that is considered abnormal or unacceptable

Origin late Middle English: from Latin perversio(n-), from the verb pervertere - 'turn around'

(or another source says it means 'to corrupt').

I keep wishing I'd taken Latin.

From The Bald-Headed Hermit and the Artichoke - An Erotic Thesaurus, I found these euphemisms - though it's funny, pervert/perversion is not really a word that's generated a lot of them - maybe because the word itself is not one that is considered perverted.

abnormal, bent, creepy, crud, defective (just a wee bit judgmental?), degenerate, depraved, deviant, dirty, dissolute, freakish, fucked, gooner (?), grody, gross, grotesque, into a particular scene, into kink, into sick shit, kinky, marv (ha!), odd, off, otway (? ?), panty thief (hmmm, maybe Blogger is, for taking Alison's Panty Parade blog), peculiar, perv(y), pervie, pervo, prevert (always a favorite), queer, rotten, rough, secko, sick, sid, sinful, smarmy, strange, twisted, twisty, unhealthy, unnatural, viscious (think it's supposed to be vicious), warped, watson (I really wonder at the origin of this one), wicked

Personally, I don't think most of these fall under the definition of euphemism - other than maybe gooner, panty thief, or watson (I was not able to find an explanation of that one in a few minutes googling - now I'm really curious). Many of the words seem judgmental (I know, I know - many people are) - and I'm sure that the continuum has folks considered kinky by some thinking someone else is really into sick shit and that person thinks another is even more warped.

At the somewhat recent eroticist's dinner, it struck me that as "normal" as we all seemed, many many many people would consider us perverts. I think we'd all wear that badge with pride. Maybe it's because we've thought about it so much while writing that we're more sure of ourselves (in other words, we don't think we're unhealthy) and more aware of the great variations in what turns one on and pops one's cork (yeah, more euphemisms).

Guess we're all just twisted.

Slogging Forward

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Good Stuff

~It's stopped raining!

~I finished a story I want to sub last night.

~There's only three more days of school after today and then I won't have to get up at 6AM (I am not a morning person).

~I've got a writing group meeting tomorrow - been missing folks.

~There's some good stuff out in blogland - poetry at Sommer's and Craig's - plenty of pretty purple/violet/whatever at Alison's (ya must scroll through all the purple posts) - thoughtful posts & discussions at Donna's and Scarlett's - word talk at Janine's - and one hell of a fun quiz at P.S. Haven's (plugging your ass again Haven!).

~I'm putting together an interview that I did with Randy Lagana, whose artwork I've used in various posts. Hope to get it up this weekend.

~It's stopped raining!

~There's even a hint of sun!

~Mr. Erobintica gets home from business travels tomorrow afternoon!

~ I got buttons AND a Trollop temp tattoo in the mail!

That there picture is of one of Mr. Erobintica's famous sparkler bombs.

On Fire - SpicySexySultry Songs, Stories, Sustenance and more

Welcome. So glad you could join us on this Spicy Summer Sunday. (I apologize to anyone who has trouble loading this - I went a bit happy with the embedding - also, I'm having a hell of a time with fonts - it must be because it's well after midnight). I've got lots of hot songs for you to watch, hot stories to go read, hot (and cold) food to salivate over, and plenty to discuss. Feel free to wander out into the garden to pick some strawberries to nibble on while feasting your eyes. And whenever you arrive, you're right on time!

And here is a not-blurred longer (9:15) video - fast forward to about 1:23 to get to the "good" part.

Grab a beverage - there's margaritas and sangria and plenty of Pacifico in the barrel of ice on the deck. Take a seat. Suddenly feeling a bit horny? Sorry, haha, couldn't resist! I was hoping to find tube socks printed with chili peppers to hand out to the guys, but had no luck. I did find these though! 

Oh, there's snacks set out - some of Trader Joe's Chili Spiced Dried Mango and ike & sam's kickin' cayenne kettlecorn. A Brooklyn friend turned me on to this highly addictive snack food which luckily I haven't seen in my local store (oh, they have other varieties, but not the spicy).

Today we're gonna get hot. With hot chili powder. Also sometimes spelled "chile" - I promise you I'm not going to go into a dissertation on the many varieties of chili peppers. If you want, you can go read about them here. Chili powder, a blend of spices, can be bought or mixed up in your kitchen. We (Mr. Erobintica & I) prefer the hot variety and our kids have grown up with that. Mild? Not around here. If you want to read an interesting piece - Sex and Chiles.

While the BBQ is heating up, how about some hot songs to get us in a summery mood. Here's some of my favorites, songs that get me hot - songs that I crank up when I go pseudo-topless (sunroof open and windows down). I'll embed a few, click on the links to view the others -

also, Sheryl Crow's Steve McQueen, vintage John Mellencamp with Hurts So Good, and of course ZZ Top's Gimme All Your Lovin'. And one more - Bruce Springsteen's I'm On Fire.

Ah, the food's just about ready. I love skewered foods, don't you? ;-)

Grilled Chili Chicken and Fruit Skewers

boneless chicken breasts, cut in 1 inch chunks
pineapple chunks
mango chunks
strawberries

grated rind of 2 limes
2 rounded tsp of hot chili powder
½ tsp sugar
½ tsp salt
tsp of ground Wrath

¼ cup olive oil
juice of the 2 limes
splash of triple sec


Mix together spice mixture. Mix olive oil mixture. Thread chicken chunks on skewers and fruit (alternating strawberries, mango and pineapple) on separate skewers. Brush all with the olive oil mixture. Heat BBQ. When ready, grill the skewers, turning the fruit carefully (may need to use 2 tongs since the fruit wants to slip off). Once skewers have been turned, sprinkle some of the spice mixture on them - more liberally on the chicken.
Carefully remove the fruit skewers to a plate once there are char marks and the strawberries are soft. Sprinkle with a little bit more spice mixture and leave to cool. Turn the chicken again and sprinkle the 2nd side with spices. Use all the spice mixture. When chicken is done, remove to a plate. Serve with a salad and warm, crusty bread. Instead of chicken you can try scallops or shrimp or even just veggies.

Now that I'm done cooking, I can join the conversation. Surprise surprise, this crowd is talking about erotica. Fancy that! ;-)  Always a juicy subject with us. I know we've talked about who we share our erotica with and last week Donna wondered how much we reveal or hide ourselves in our fiction, especially our sexuality. Pondering that discussion, I had a chicken or the egg question come into my head. As our writing evolves, do we find that our sexuality evolves? Writers are often counseled to "write what you know." But fiction writers often write what they don't know. Nobody really expects a murder mystery author to go out and off someone as "research."  But erotica is different. Yes, many of us like it because we can write about things that we'd never really do in real life. But I think most of us do explore subjects that we're drawn to (whether in actuality or fantasy). I've found that over the years (and yes, I've been writing erotica for many years, just not sharing it with anyone until recently), my writing has mirrored to some extent what my ... interests have been/are/will be. That comes as no surprise really. So, what comes first? The interest or the words?

Hope that's not too personal of a question. Come on, let's not be shy. ;-)

Okay before I get too wordy here, let's bring on the dessert and let the meltingly spicy richness of these truffles contrast nicely with the frozen smoothness of coconut and strawberry. Oh, and please, try some ice wine too. It was a lovely June evening a few years back when I was introduced to ice wine - luckily in blogland, price is no obstacle. It will help loosen our tongues.

Spicy Chocolate Chili Truffles

8 oz. chopped chocolate - preferably 62% cacao or higher
½ cup heavy cream
½ tsp red chili flakes
½ tsp chili powder (chilpotle or whatever your favorite is)
1 TBLS softened butter
cocoa powder for dusting mixed with ground Wrath

Heat cream to simmer. Remove from heat, add chili flakes and chili powder. Cover and steep for 15-20 minutes. Reheat briefly to simmer and pour through a strainer over chopped chocolate. Let sit a few minutes, then stir gently. Add softened butter and stir. Stir till cooled. Chill till firm, several hours. Shape cherry-sized balls and roll in cocoa mixture. Serve.

Coconut strawberry "ice cream"

One 14 oz. can coconut milk
1 TBLS agave syrup
20 drops liquid stevia
1 cup or so strawberries, cut in halves or quarters and smashed lightly with fork

Pour coconut milk into bowl and stir with whisk to incorporate any congealed coconut oil. Add agave syrup and stevia and stir with whisk to mix. Taste for sweetness. Pour into a small ice cream maker (the small size ice cream ball or Donvier ice cream maker.

Stir or churn or mix for a bit until the coconut milk is starting to thicken. Add smashed strawberries and proceed with whatever device until ice cream is ready. May serve soft out of maker or let sit in freezer.

Now that we're all sated (gustatorily that is), we can sit back and keep talking, or wander off and read some stories that I found particularly spicy this past week. Alison Tyler always has spicy stories for us - you can read and vote for group sex here or ditch the bedspread here. And over at Aphrodite's Table, Gina Marie (the smutter formerly known as Kirsten Monroe) has another thing coming for us - start here, then continues here. And if that's not enough, just click on any of the links over to the right - those are all smutters extraordinaire. 

Oh, and as if that's not enough! Here's a kinky video over at Agent Provocateur that makes me think of what these blog dinners might end up like some time!

Next Sunday we'll take over Neve Black's place. For the full summer line-up, go here. 

And sometime this week, I'll have an interview with Randy Lagana (whose artwork has graced this blog for awhile now) - and it is so weird that it worked out perfectly that each of those links goes to a blog post with one or more of his images - I didn't plan that! Here's his surreal Mango On A String.

Spicy Summer Sundays Begin!

Today is the start of a summer-long exploration of all things spicy. Conceived and hosted by Marina St. Clare and Donna George Storey, each Sunday a different erotic writer/blogger will offer up a different spice (or herb) in whatever way they desire. It should be delectable!

Head over to Donna's blog today where she's serving a sultry spicy sexy soup along with beverages to loosen the tongue – Demon-Slayer sake, Mas Malbec and Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. And look! One's already been emptied and filled with summer flowers. Oh, and she has cookies of course!

I'm excited to be next week's host and my offering will be hot chili powder - but I'm not making chili.  ;-) 

Here's the full line up for the summer.

5/31  Donna George Storey – Opening and introduction

6/7    Erobintica (me! - right here) – Hot Chili Powder

6/14  Neve Black – Cilantro

6/21  Summer Marsden – Cumin

6/28  Gina Marie – Cinnamon

7/5    J.M. Stone – Thyme

7/12  Craig Sorenson – Pepper

7/19  Jeremy Edwards – Dill

7/26  Isabel Kerr – Ginger

8/2    Marina St. Clare – Basil

8/9    Cerulean – Rosemary

8/16  Emerald – Poppy Seeds

8/23  P.S. Haven – Salt

8/30  End of summer ceremonies back at Donna's

Such a slut

First I became a button slut, now I'm a blog slut. Yesterday I did Sommer, today Donna. Their blogs that is. Today I have a poem over at Donna George Storey's blog to go with her auditeuristic series (I think I made that word up). And if I can make my brain work, I'll have my own post up later.

This properly slutty card here at etsy

And while I'm being a slut - I'm gonna post a link from Kirsten Monroe's blog - the funniest thing I've read in ages - Buzzed by Noah Baumbach at The New Yorker

Thinking Good Thoughts

You know those visualization exercises? Go to your special place. I tend to hate those. Yoga classes always seemed to end with them. I used to think I don't have a special place. Now I do, but the problem is I want to be there for real, not in my mind.

I want to be here, this place in the picture. The nice thing is, I've been there and I will be there. 

Anyhow, I've been quiet and in that feeling sorry for myself place. Which is not good. Not much gets done there. 

But yesterday and today some things happened that made me feel better. Like, Sommer asks "tell me something good." And P.S. Haven invites us to come up to his gallery and view his art (Haven, it is definitely art!). Marina lets us listen in over at Donna's. And Alison has buttons and won't lie.

And the weather has cooled to more seasonable temps (though I did enjoy the heat for two days). And they found the problem on my car and I've got my fingers crossed that it'll be fixed soon. That bare spot in the garage has really gotten me down. 

So, I'm going to try to think positive the rest of the day and get stuff done. 

Unintended Consequences - Thinking - Part 1

Randy Lagana's "Thinking"

It's been an interesting day. First the Amazon "glitch." Then more worrisome "news" at my husband's place of employment. Then I read an essay that got to me and made me think. And when I get to thinking, well, I tend to go deep.

Lot of emotions filtering through me today. The whole "glitch" brought back memories of times in the past when my righteous indignation won out over my innate tendency to hide. Or when it didn't. When I sat back and cowered - afraid that if I spoke up - that harsh beam would turn my way. There are times when I've written a letter that I'd like to think helped make a difference. I do believe that sometimes it can take just one vote.

But also, all too often I've been silent. Out of fear. Fear of what might happen if. Fear of being wrong. Fear of looking stupid. Raise my hand in class? No way. Speak up when I disagree? Nope. Because I know I would stumble over my own words and fall flat on my face. I was sure of it. And that kept me silent for a very long time. 

So, watching the whole Amazon sales rank fiasco, I felt that conflict - speak up or keep quiet for fear of looking/sounding like a fool. My gut feeling is that the whole thing is an unintended consequence of some other action, either intentional or otherwise. And it spread like wildfire. I'll be very interested in how this pans out. I know that it affected me even though it didn't effect the one book on Amazon I have some writing in. Last month I went to post reviews for both Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories and Best Sex Writing 2009. I had trouble finding both of them. It was frustrating and made me feel stupid. And scared. I didn't like that. So I thought about it.

Then later I read an essay that Donna George Storey wrote, A Pill To Change Your Life, about her mother's death from the diabetes drug Rezulin. I had to read it in two sittings because it was hard to read. All sorts of emotions welled up in me. It hit home because I have diabetes. When I was first diagnosed the other year, it was shortly before a good friend, the husband of a poetry colleague, passed away from pancreatic cancer. He had diabetes and when I went to see him just days before he died, I told him and he warned me to pick my doctor(s) carefully. He'd been on meds for years. I was on them for three months but then opted to work with just diet and exercise under the care of a naturopath. I lost a lot of weight and my health now is better than it's been in many years. 

But that got me thinking about the deaths of friends again. And friends in general. 

Part 2 tomorrow (actually on Wed. I just don't feel like writing right now.)

Peeking out

View from Alcatraz taken by Mr. Erobintica last summer.

Funny how little things make you think big thoughts. 

A couple of weeks ago I sent Donna George Storey a poem that I wrote, oh, about three years ago. I thought she might appreciate it in light of her series of The Mile High Club - themed blog posts. She did. Then she asked me if she could post it on her blog. Cool. But. This particular poem had been published last year in a print journal. Under my full name. And yeah, I have the rights to it and could have just said yeah, go ahead. But. I'm kind of a stickler for giving credit where credit is due. It's common knowledge/courtesy/practice to mention places where works have been previously published. 

So, I thought about it. And thought about it some more. I'm not ashamed of my poetry. I'm not ashamed of my erotica/smut/porn/whatever. This was something that came into play when I was coming up with a "pen name." So I'd set it up so that at some point in the future all the various writer personas could merge. But I didn't expect it to start happening so fast. 

Well, best laid plans and all that. I told Donna that yes, she could post my poem. It's kind of thrilling and scary at the same time. Like good sex. It's that loss of control. 

I know there's plenty of erotic authors out there who keep a tight lid on their private life. And I respect that. Don't think any the worse - I understand - and would never, ever think of "outing" someone. But for me, well, secrets are something I don't like living with. I did for most of my life and it was hell.

So, now I'm peeking out at the view. It looks ... real. I like that. But. Not quite ready to make a full break for it. So, I probably won't link the two places ... yet. And it's most likely I'll link from here to there first. I don't think any erotic folks will be shocked at my writing poetry. But, I know that some folks that know me through my poetry, or just know me, would be shocked by Erobintica. 

The secret of happiness is freedom. The secret of freedom is courage."

                                                           ~Thucydides (c.460-400 BC)

Erotic Ketchup

Sorry - couldn't resist. I'm in a mood this morning - oh, wait, it's afternoon already.

So, I decided it was about time I tried to get caught up with posting my Alison Tyler contest flashers. This one I didn't post right away because it went visiting in Suite 69 over at Donna George Storey's blog for her hotel sex series. I was thrilled that Donna asked me to take part in the festivities and the comments I got on the story made me feel all warm and fuzzy.

But as is always the way with stuff that I don't do right away - it didn't get done - until now.

It's weird, I'm listening to Ani DiFranco's Living In Clip - an all time favorite CD - and feeling a bit of anger/loss - finally - I've been sorta numb since losing my friend last week. Maybe partly because my husband has been away and I need to hold it together when he's gone. He'll be back tonight and isn't going anywhere for a bit - so maybe it feels safer to let those feelings in. This human condition fascinates me.

And now for something completely different...

This was for AT's "Touch" contest back in the very beginning of March.


Pulsating Jets

As the sun crept around the heavy hotel drapes, we snuggled. Sleeping clothed is unusual for us. Though sometimes we wear something to bed just to have something to take off. But thanks to a screw up in reservations we had to share a room with your business partner and his wife. They weren’t happy about it. Neither were we.

While our roommates snore, you caress my arm, slide over my tummy, brush my upper thigh. I can feel your arousal nestled against my butt. We rub feet together, wordlessly communicating the longing we both feel. What I wouldn’t give for a wall and a door right now. But you break away and get up to shower. I don’t dare join you.

I lay touching myself as I listen to you turn on the water and adjust the spray. The sounds emanating from the shower are subtle at first. Could easily be mistaken for washing hair or soaping arms. But soon they become more regular, last longer than it should take to wash any single body part.

Listening, I see you in my mind’s eye, water coursing over your body, your hand moving faster and faster. I wonder what images are jumping your synapses. I hardly breathe, straining to hear. Part of me is sad, wanting to be your fist, be the water. The sound is insistent now.

Then, just the steady sound of the shower, the gurgle of the drain.

Getting Wet in Suite 69

Over at Donna George Storey's illustrious blog, Sex,Food and Writing, there's been a steady stream of folks in and out of Suite 69 treating us to an international erotic smorgasbord of hotels. Today I join in the fun with Hot Shower at the Kabuki Hotel.

When Donna asked if I wanted to take part in this "literary orgy" (as EllaRegina put it), I immediately thought of the flasher entry I had up at Alison Tyler's blog at that time. The voting wasn't over so I had to wait to send Donna my piece and in the meantime remembered I had pictures from our stay at the Kabuki Hotel in San Francisco last summer. So head over there to enjoy the tea and sweet bean cakes - oh and some Pulsating Jets. Thanks Donna!

Oh, and if that wasn't enough, the wild and wonderful Kirsten Monroe posted the haiku I wrote in response to the lovely calla lily photo poem challenge she posted a week ago. Thanks, KM!

And coming up on Monday is the next dance at the Beginner's Ball, which will be hosted by Marina St. Clare.