Robert Frost (1873-1963)
Winter is over and there are signs everywhere that life goes on. The robins are back in the yard searching for bugs. Bulbs are sprouting where piles of snow once sat. Grass is slowly turning green again. The trees have a tinge of life in their topmost branches. On warm days I can smell the earth. For me one of the most inspiring, hopeful sights is weeds springing up from cracks in the pavement. I love seeing trees growing out of and around rocks. As I was thinking of this whole life goes on thing, I remembered Randy Lagana's lovely photograph above.
Grief instructs us to look at our lives. Am I living in a way I feel good about? Am I the person I want to be? I've lost two friends in the last four months. Two talented, lovely people are no longer. Both of them figure in my being here, being in this place of the erotic. One wrote a poem that I wish I could print here - but I can't - but it was about writing erotica/failure. I'm here now because I beg to differ. The other gave me the name Erobintica.
This surreal painting by Randy Lagana - 3 Thoughts - kept calling to me. Oh, that sounds so ... you know ... new agey. Blech! I don't draw any heavy duty meaning from this painting - I just like the rocks floating - their shapes - the shadow on the ground. I like looking at it. I like rocks. I like rocks piled up, either naturally or helped by human or animals - natural forces. Cairns. Stone walls. Glacial Erratics.
This boulder is taller than me - sometimes I set my desktop to it just so I can look at it. Right now my husband is up there in Maine - I wish I could be with him. Our little piece of earth up there is another thing that gives me hope. Last night, despite my still-fresh grief, we made love. For me, that was life-affirming. And it helped me see the way out of my sadness.
I was going to write more tonight - there's a lot going through my brain right now - but it's 12:30am and I have a writer's group tomorrow morning. There's another of Randy's pieces I was going to write from, but I guess that'll have to wait.