Tuesday, June 28, 2011

A lot to say, Part 1

It's been more than a month since I've posted anything here and I decided I better get my ass in gear and post something for June! This post will probably jump around all over the place, so fasten your seat belts!

Today I clicked on the the "yes, mobile template" button so that folks looking at my blog from a mobile device can hopefully read it easier, and so maybe more will read. Of course, I have to write something for there to be something to read, so I hope to remedy the lack of updates with various odd postings. If you are reading this on a mobile device and have read here before without the new fancy schmancy mobile template, I'd appreciate hearing if it made a difference or not.

This past Saturday (June 25), I read a few of my poems at Essensuality in NYC. Billed as "An Evening of Erotic Expression," this series run by Monica Day, is a wonderful venue for material that might not be appropriate to share at a "regular" reading venue.  I appreciate venues like this, and The Erotic Literary Salon (run by Susana Mayer, a friend of Monica's, in Philadelphia), where I've read before, because I get to read the poems that I don't do otherwise, like this one. I'll talk a bit about why in a minute.

I'd attended Essensuality once before, back in March when Jeremy Edwards was a featured performer. Then, and again this month, the evening is a smorgasbord of erotic performances, including music, dance,  poetry, fiction, memoir, skits, and more. It truly is an OPEN mike.

Which brings me back to why I don't read some of my poems for ... how should I put this? ... general audiences. I know that poems that erotically use the words cunt and cock in them would not go over with everyone (emphasis on everyone) at a plain old poetry reading. I am NOT in this for the shock value. Also, I am chicken. At venues like Essensuality and The Erotic Literary Salon, people are there expecting to hear stuff like that. *And if not, they make a quick exit. My hope is that someday, after reading enough times at venues like these, that I'll become more comfortable reading these sorts of works. Anyhow. It was a good evening. I think my friend enjoyed it. I'll be back next time (in September) when Emerald is scheduled to be a feature.


One thing I've been dealing with over the past several years (at least) is how it feels to me that society in general STILL thinks that any and all expressions of our real sexuality should be kept behind closed doors, under the covers, and in the dark. I hear it in off-hand comments from friends, relatives, and acquaintances. I hear it in commentary from various self-proclaimed pundits. I heard a lot of it with the recent twitpic media frenzy. And all that reinforces the shame that I've been fighting against for way longer. It manifests in small ways.

For the past several months I've been working to revamp my personal website, the one for the "writer" me. For a few years, there was no linkage between there and here. Then there was a covert link on a crowded page. That page is gone now (too many broken links). My new site is going to fully meld all my various and diverse writing activities. It will link to this blog, and others. It will link to any poems I can link to. It will have video of my readings, including the one at The Erotic Literary Salon. 

I've been having a hard time with this. Working very slowly. Part of the reason is that while I want to be completely open about the Erobintica side of me (as I put it), I still am a little hesitant.

Why? Well, I'd keep going, but it's evening and we're going to watch the special features disc from Pan's Labyrinth tonight and I have to be up very early tomorrow. So I'm going to post this and come back to it - hopefully tomorrow afternoon.