Waiting for thoughts to form

Waiting by Randy Lagana

Today I posted a "Naughty Librarian" post over at We Who Are About To Die. A couple of the links there are to stuff that I just like; a post from Gina Marie and the Sex+Design site I linked to from here yesterday, as well as a couple of other links that I'll talk more about in a few days.

I also linked to a post by Alana Noel Voth that made me think. She mentioned Emerald's blog, and how she admired Em and "what a responsibility it is...to vocalize your opinions regarding sexuality in the face of a culture like ours: a mixed bag of prudes and perverts."

And I want to say something about that, but the thoughts aren't fully formed.

Despite blogging here for a couple of years as "Erobintica,"
despite becoming somewhat "known" for my erotic poetry (SEAF and doing my first out-of-state reading, which is on video and I hope to post it here soon),
despite baring my soul (and more) at F-Stop: The Naked I,
despite being the "Naughty Librarian" and getting noticed for that,
despite getting no negative feedback on my "erotica" activities from people I know (the closest has been some "surprise" from a few folks),
despite all that,

I'm still scared shitless to really speak my mind.

Why? I'm not quite sure. But I know that despite all the fear, I am going to speak. When the thoughts form.