January has been zooming by

So, I came here to add the button for the Coming Together "Share the Love" February blog bash, and realized that I had not posted at all this month! And January's almost over!

I've been busy trying to catch up on stuff from last year. I let a few spinning plates fall. But luckily they didn't shatter, and I'm back at it. I've been submitting poetry, making plans, even writing!

So, I promise to come back and start posting again. Soon. Very soon. Honest. "Erobintica blog" is on my to do list every day. Yeah, yeah. I know. In the meantime, here's something I read that has really made an impression on me. (It's not naughty stuff at all so you can read it from work)

Here's what is sinking in:

"To put yourself forward as someone good enough to do interesting things is, by definition, to expose yourself to all kinds of negative judgments, and as far as I can tell, the fact that other people get to decide what they think of your behavior leaves only two strategies for not suffering from those judgments: not doing anything, or not caring about the reaction."

~ Clay Shirky, "A Rant About Women."

I don't think it's coincidence that since I've read this I've submitted 10 poems to 3 different journals.

A odd sort of thrill

I almost gave up.

The book finder said they were there. I scanned the rack of "Fiction Anthology" in the 5th Avenue Barnes and Noble in New York City this past Saturday, but I couldn't spot any copies of Best Erotic Romance on the shelf. Best this, best that. But not BER.

It wouldn't be the first time I couldn't find a book I was looking for.

But something inside told me to look one more time. So I methodically, with neck craned sideways, scanned the entire bookshelf. Then, toward the bottom, there it was! Turns out they were arranged alphabetically according to the Editor's name. Kristina Wright.

It is an an odd feeling, the good kind of odd, odd meaning out of the ordinary, not everyday, not taken for granted, to pull a book off a bookstore shelf and know that your words are inside.

This is not the first time I've been published. Not the first time I've been in print. Not the first book I've held and turned to my words. But this IS the first time I've seen a book I'm in on a shelf in a bookstore.

Luckily, I was not alone, but with friends, so I was able to literally bounce over to where they were standing and jump up and down and squeal with delight (I honestly don't remember what I said) and turn to the Table of Contents and then to the page (179) that my story is on  and then to the bios. I turned a bit too fast for my friends, LOL.

It was nice to be able to share that moment. If I had of been by myself, I would have been just as thrilled, but I wouldn't have been able to share it. I would have been jumping up and down inside, all the while just standing there. So thank you Kam, Charlie, Stacey, and Tim for being there. And thanks Stacey for taking this picture after I'd bought a copy, even though I know my contributor's copy is probably on it's way.

A taste from my Best Erotic Romance story

Best Erotic Romance is now available to order, and I thought I'd give a little taste of my story "Till the Storm Breaks" to whet your appetite.



I'm pretty excited, because this will be my first print publication of any of my erotica. And seeing that "Best" there is just kind of tingly-feeling-giving. When Kristina Wright chose this story to be included, she didn't realize that it would be my first print publication. She called my story "lovely." Wow. :)

I think I'm ready for winter.

Excerpt from Till the Storm Breaks:

I tested a noodle. Not quite ready. I watched the bubbles rise to the surface and pop. Best laid plans. Best plans to get laid. I'd been looking forward to the guest suite that I knew Greg would have put me and Tim in, the one with the Jacuzzi and the floor to ceiling windows looking out at the ocean. I'd fantasized about Tim unzipping my red dress while I watched our reflection in the window. I loved to have sex when we were away from home. Hotel rooms with their matching beds to try out. Quaint bed and breakfasts with quilts on brass beds. On the floor at his parent's house (since they'd never replaced the boys' bunk beds). Tent camping. And here at our cabin. But not this time.

We were sleeping in the open loft and Teresa was on the pull-out. While I might have slid my hand into his pajamas, trying to interest him in something other than sleep, I knew that with Teresa so close downstairs, that Tim would just not go for it. He was a pretty vanilla guy, and not very forthcoming when it came to sharing fantasies or out-of-the-ordinary desires. But I loved him, and he seemed to enjoy my efforts to spice things up a bit for us. I realized as I stood there, that I was just a little bit aroused. That's what I get for thinking about sex, which I did on a regular basis.

"Hey, are the noodles ready?" Teresa looked over my shoulder. I stabbed one of the macaronis, held it up and blew on it, then fed it to her. "Done?" She smiled and nodded, and I watched her red hair sway with the movement. I felt an odd little rush as I became acutely aware of her breasts pressed against the back of my arm. Not wanting to move, yet needing to drain the noodles, I turned off the stove and emptied the pan into the colander in the sink. Steam rose, fogging the window. Just then the lights blinked. "Uh oh," Teresa said, "maybe we should light one of those candles in case…"

            We were plunged into darkness. 

Suite news!

Today I got the news that my story "Return to the Nonchalant Inn" will be in next year's Suite Encounters: Hotel Sex Stories, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel for Cleis Press! Needless to say, I'M THRILLED!!! Due out the middle of next year, it will be my second print publication of my erotica. There's just something about a book with paper and pages and a cover and print. I wasted no time in signing the contract and sending it back. :)

I've been reading Rachel's anthology for years and it is most definitely an honor to be chosen by her for this second anthology of hotel sex stories. I can't wait to see the TOC!

This comes on the heels of the release of Best Erotic Romance, edited by Kristina Wright for Cleis. I've got a story in that, and my next post will be an excerpt from it!

Letting go of the old year

Whoa. It's December already. It's been more than 2 weeks since my last post. Unintended.

I have more good stuff to announce, but that will be the next post, about looking forward to next year. This post is about letting go of the old one.

Back in late October I wrote about how this year seems to have been a lost year. In many ways it's also be a last year. Next year is truly going to be a "new" year for me. And as I stand on the brink, frost crunching under my feet (figurative frost - it's actually raining and almost 60 degrees!), just beginning to lean into what is coming, I've been slowly prying my fingers away from what I've been holding on to.

It's been a year of letting go. And I've still not let go of my fear of writing from the heart. I've been typing this paragraph over and over again. Shall I say it? Shall I not? Maybe some of it is still too raw and bloody. Things that have defined me, for decades or years or months or days, are being ripped away. By me. I've needed to let go of my attachment to activities, though loved, that had become stressful to the point that I'd come to dread them. I've needed to let go of my attachment to my wanting others to be what I wanted them to be, and not what they actually are.  I've needed to let go of hopes and dreams that were not at all attainable. All of these things I was holding on to were holding me back.

Next year is about moving. Moving on, moving forward, moving in new directions, moving towards something rather than away. Moving rather than being frozen in place.

Best Erotic Romance now available!

Best Erotic Romance, edited by Kristina Wright for Cleis Press, has been released!  I'm excited because I will be able to hold the book in my hands and turn to the page my story, "Till the Storm Breaks," begins on.

It won't be the first time I've been in print, but it will be the first time my erotica has been in print. Call me old-fashioned, but I like to hold a book. The tangible object is as much of the experience for me as the words.

Don't get me wrong, I think online is great. In fact I think it's one of the best things to ever happen during my lifetime. Despite all the CRAP out there on the internet, one cannot deny the wonderfulness of being able to just go and write for all the world to see.  Even if just a miniscule fraction of the world is seeing my blog, and hence my words, there are still folks all over the globe that have. Granted, they're not looking for "me." But I'd like to think that when someone types in one of the search phrases that lands them here, that even though what I've written isn't exactly what they're looking for, they still might spend a few minutes reading and enjoying what I've written.

Granted, I find myself a bit nervous too, now that this print book is out. I've yet to have the experience of having my writing commented on, other than by friends. While I have years of critique groups under my belt, I've never had my work "reviewed." So, yeah, I'm nervous about that.

Also, there's a few folks in my life that I haven't told about my Erobintica exploits (ha!) - namely my sister. Not that I think she'd going to wander into a bookstore on the other side of the country from me and pick up this book and turn to the bios and find her baby sister listed. But it's more that I'm proud of this. I'm proud of my writing. And wow, that was a difficult sentence to type.

This has been a year of transitions for me. As it draws to a close, I'm wondering what next year will bring. I hope I'll be able to point to more publications and more events/activities that I'm doing. I hope that my fears will start to fall away, and I can start to live up to some of the things friends and loved ones have told me about my writing.

Thank you everyone who is reading this!

Women In Lust: Erotic Stories

Most of the definitions I found of the word lust were somewhat unsatisfying and bland.

Until the one at Wikipedia: "Lust is an emotional force that is directly associated with the thinking or fantasizing about one's desire, usually in a sexual way."

Lust is most definitely a force. A force to be reckoned with.

Lust is a craving so strong that reason flies out the window.

Lust makes us do and say things that make us shake our heads and say "Did I say/do that?"

For those of us who are Dante's Inferno fans, our lust can send us straight to the second circle of hell, to be endlessly tossed around by "the terrible winds of a violent storm." Yup, sounds about right.

While preparing for this stop on the virtual book tour for Women In Lust: Erotic Stories edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel for Cleis Press, I kept getting sidetracked when I'd type "lust" in the search engine. There was an awfully lot of links associating lust with sin. Thankfully, the women of Women In Lust don't tend to worry about that.

But one link led me to Valentine de Saint-Point's Futurist Manifesto of Lust, where I found my favorite definition of lust:

Lust is the expression of a being projected beyond itself. It is the painful joy of wounded flesh, the joyous pain of a flowering. And whatever secrets unite these beings, it is a union of flesh. It is the sensory and sensual synthesis that leads to the greatest liberation of spirit. It is the communion of a particle of humanity with all the sensuality of the earth. 

The women who lust–Donna George Storey's Natalie, Brandy Fox's Brooke, Elizabeth Coldwell's Barbara, all of the women in this anthology–would embrace that definition wholeheartedly.

Over the course of the day, today, I'm going to come back and post a couple of lines about each story in the comments (a comment for each story). I'd post them all at once here, but it didn't occur to me till just now to do that as I read. I never liked taking notes while I read because I like to lose myself in the story.

For more about this book, go to  http://womeninlust.wordpress.com/about/.

The full Women In Lust Virtual Blog Tour schedule is at that link, with links to past and future posts. It's running for the full lusty month of November, with a trickle over into December. Reviews, interviews, and who knows what's to come?