The other day I wrote, and published a post that with some reflection, I decided to take down. A few people read it and upon talking with them (virtually or IRL), it was obvious that it was in many ways, far too much to ask of anyone to have to deal with. The title of it was Inconsolable. That tells you a lot right there.
I've been having a hard time of it. I'm at a turning point in so many areas of my life that I feel kinda dizzy. The ground is shifting under my feet. Earthquake. Quicksand. Or even just like when you stand on the beach and the water runs out and the sand pulls away and you feel like you're going to lose your balance or get pulled out. Under.
Digging bare toes into shifting sand. That's what it feels like I'm doing.
I'm trying to be open to what the seas of change are telling me. But what I'm hearing is scary. Dare I reinvent - that's not the right word - myself at this late stage of the game? Am I mixing too many metaphors?
3 comments:
I suppose the answer is just always in action? Don't dig in... swim on?
I don't think your post was too much to deal with, I just think... no one can rescue you. Like Danielle says, you have to be your own hero. I don't know how to do that when all I feel like is a victim, but I'm pretty sure it's the answer... somehow.
I didn't read the original post, so I have no context there, but I do know a little about turning points. If you do truly feel like your digging toes into shifting sand, I would tend to agree with Jo, don't even try. In military terms, if you feel like your position is about to be overrun, and you can't change this, it's best to move on.
Again, without context, I may be speaking out of turn, but based on what you're feeling, this is my thought.
All I can say is, I wish I could give you a hug. I hope you will be able to find some clarity.
Thanks Jo & Craig. I tried to post a comment in reply to Jo, and got and error. So trying again.
It was something about knowing I have to just keep walking up (or down) that beach.
I think it took writing out what I did to realize what I was doing (the toes in the sand). And since then, what I need to do is becoming clearer. And it's good. At least in my humble opinion.
It's funny, as much as I can bare myself, figuratively and literally, it's often hard for me to write honestly and openly about personal difficulties I'm having. Yet, I read others do so with great respect. There are a thousand schools of thought. I'm not sure where I stand or why. It's all a process, right?
And Craig, I'm feeling that hug. Thanks.
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