Mixed feelings

Nowadays my husband sends me blog fodder, and in this case took this picture while he was at an event for business. He saw these paddles and the saying on the middle one, and knowing me, he had to take a picture. Not that I'm into paddling. In fact, I've never been spanked since I was a kid and I get a little strange when I think about it. Which sometimes makes doing things like reviewing erotica that involves spanking or doing blog posts like last Tuesday's a bit ... hmmm, difficult isn't the word ... I guess I just get a little ... weird. It's quite complicated.

But back to these paddles. His impression was that the guy making these was serious, they were designed with corporal punishment in mind, and maybe did not know that they might be used for the very thing they were designed to discourage (Mr. E thought this because of some of the other items this guy had displayed). 

So, okay, paddles don't do anything for me. This I have discovered about myself. But, show me a leather flogger, and something happens. This came up because tomorrow we're going to one of those renfaire type of things (how I want to spend part of Mother's Day), and one of the vendors makes floggers (that's  not the vendor) and I still remember how I felt the first time I saw one at their booth years ago. And I feel a little exposed here admitting this. Hahaha. But anyhow, I doubt that hubby will buy me one tomorrow. But one of these days I want one. 

Where do things like that come from? Those visceral magnets that draw us to them from someplace deep and cob-webbed. Maybe from images from books or movies or television shows. Maybe from dreams. Who knows. 

It's been a trip and a half discovering my kinks. And I'm sure I'm not done. This is probably a lifetime journey. 

Yeah, I'm introspective today. My various selves clashing and clamoring for control. Who to be today? Mom, writer, homemaker (I have a shitload of cleaning I haven't done), gardener, cook, totally wanton slut?  Do I  have to choose?