Thursday, January 8, 2009

What'll They Think?

Yesterday I had some moments of self-doubt which spilt over to this morning, well, this afternoon. I'm new at this erotica writer thing (well, the public part of it) and I started wondering how to take myself seriously and be proud of my writing while there are plenty of people in my life that I can't share this with (at least at this point in time). Some folks I'd never tell, haha, like my mother-in-law or those friends that are quite conservative and religious. Though I admit it does give me a perverse thrill to imagine them finding out that I'm doing this. Other folks I figure will find out in time. Maybe. Then I have the people who know - and so far they all have been supportive. Which is cool. And of course my husband has been very supportive - which is crucial. But I started to worry - yeah, I'm a worrier. What'll "people" think when (if?) they read something of mine that doesn't fit their perception of me? More importantly, how will I handle that? 

I took a walk this afternoon - it was damn cold but pretty after the ice storm yesterday - and sorted some stuff out in my head. Walks are good for that. I'm not feeling quite so doubtful right now - I spent some time this evening checking out other writer's blogs and enjoying reading the comments and posting a few myself - seems to be a nice group of folks. And I realized that writing erotica "fits" me. I've always had a filthy mind (one track my husband has always said) and it'll be nice to give it some creative outlet. So, guess we'll see. I tend to be a take 3 steps forward, run 2 1/2 back kinda person (on a good day). I guess that's still forward motion, right?

I plan to post fun stuff here (and get some pictures going too) - but I also intend to ponder serious matters too. This will be interesting.

11 comments:

Isabel Kerr said...

Hi Robin,

Welcome to one of the most creative, supportive, groups I've ever worked with, and I've been around.
; )

Why we write this is individual and you'll find many insightful answers as you go through the blogs etc.

I do it because it helps me understand, distill and focus my sexuality, as well as understand those around me. It's the one area of our lives which we do not give enough thought to, unless we write or create in some way.

Walking is a wonderful place to sort things out and create. I write whole stories, essays and poems walking.

Warm thoughts and keep writing.

Isabel Kerr said...

P.S. As to what will they think? I think many of us are careful about whom we share this with, because not everyone is so open minded as we are and we do cherish relationships for different reasons. You'll find out as you go forward. It also opens new and supportive relationships so it's easy to keep under wraps if you need to. Our delicious delightfully dirty little secret.

I keep it under wraps because I don't know that everyone could appreciate it the way it should be appreciated. Sort of fuck 'em if they can't take a joke, in a good way.

ciao,

Erobintica said...

Thank you Isabel for your kind words and the welcome.

I'd been wondering how to find a supportive group for my erotica like I have with my poetry - I know it helps to have fellow writers who get it. Think I've got lucky with this one - just kinda stumbled on it while checking out Alison's contests.

Kirsten Monroe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kirsten Monroe said...

Hi Robin,

Try this again. I made the leap into erotica last spring and it's been the best thing ever. The erotica community is amazing. I've found that more people than I realized in the "real world" also love this stuff but they just don't talk about it enough or are afraid to admit it. I'm so glad to have found your blog. I LOVE your insight and passion. Rock on!

--KM

Craig Sorensen said...

Hi Robin,

First, a "hear, hear" to Isabel and Kirsten's comments.

Second, on the "what'll they think?".

I went through that when I first stepped out from the shadows and started to get published published. I think we all do in some measure.

I live in a conservative little town, and I come from a relatively conservative family. I have only told my direct family and a few close friends about my erotic writing, but I do publish under my given name, so I can be "found out" at any time.

My family have been very supportive, my good friends have been accepting. I've yet to be confronted by someone else I know but haven't told directly about my writing.

Perhaps it comes down to: If they are reading your stuff, it's going to be hard to shake an accusative finger at you.

I started playing what-if scenarios in my head, how I might answer them. In the end I stopped playing scenarios. If I'm confronted, I'll say I feel good about my writing, and take it from there.

I feel erotica is moving toward a greater acceptance, but that move is predictably slow.

Intelligent, considered writers who portray sex realistically and explore the realities behind that sex are shaping a new truth.

Erotica is a great place to be, with its amazingly diverse but like-minded writers.

Welcome to it.

I look forward to reading more of your blog. You're off to a terrific start.

Erobintica said...

Kirsten,

Thanks for the welcome. It's kinda funny how "at home" I feel already with this. I was one of those people that was afraid to admit that they read and ooooo heaven forbid - enjoyed smut - and the dirtier the better. Always sat back quietly when the topic would come up among friends and not comment on the whole erotica/pornography argument (ha!). So glad to hear that folks are happy writing it.

Erobintica said...

Hi Craig,

Thanks for stopping by and offering your insight. I've enjoyed the posts I've read on your blog. Welcome.

Ah, the name thing. Years ago when I first thought about sending out my erotica I assumed I'd use a completely fictional name. Even had one picked out. But I never did anything then other than read and reread Susie Bright's "How to Write a Dirty Story."

But when I started considering it again last year, at first I thought of using that name, but after a number of years getting my poetry published, and an essay, I for some reason didn't want to disown my erotica. Does that make sense?

So, I opted to use my real name, just not all of it. I figure that if someone happened to "know" me in one of my incarnations and stumbled across the other - well, so be it. As it is, even this new, I'm finding it hard to keep both "personas" separate - both spring from my creativity.

Yeah, I figured that if someone waves an accusatory finger at me I can inquire as to what they were doing poking around there. ;-)

I agree wholeheartedly about "shaping a new truth" and am looking forward to discussing all sorts of subjects.

Craig Sorensen said...

Hi Robin,

Your comment: for some reason didn't want to disown my erotica. Does that make sense?

Makes perfect sense. I did think thorough the pros and cons of a nom de plume. But in the end, I pour a lot into my writing, be it erotica or an essay or a poem. It's all my writing. It's part of me.

I write for people who want to read the types of work I produce.

One final note, it's sad when a writer produces a comment at a blog that says "started to get published published"

Not that I know anyone like that.

I'm looking forward to reading your stories.

Craig

Smut Girl said...

What do you think? That's what matters. But we all go through this. So...my two cents is...go write a dirty story. It's good for what ails you.

Now. If you will excuse me, I think I saw something about Panda porn up above. Must go look at that.

xoxo
Sommer

Erobintica said...

Thanks Sommer. Right now I think that writing dirty stories is a fun way to explore all that I find fascinating and wonderful about us human types. I love the complexity. Besides, I do believe that what stays hidden and shames us, hurts us in the long run.

Just wondering what they'd write if bonobos and banana slugs had written language - hehehe.