Today is the last day of August. This week my son starts back to high school. In a week my daughter will be back at college. My routine will be shifting to get up earlier. I tried this morning and did not succeed.
The garden (mostly weeds) is having it's last gasp. It's not been a kind year for growing in the Northeast. The weather is shifting - we're actually going to have a whole week of nice weather - sun and temps in the seventies. I'm starting to crave apples (I don't buy them year around even though I could). Already, October and November plans are shaping up.
The shift of seasons always brings a shift in mood for me - on the one hand I always find myself regretting the things I missed out on this passing season. It was summer, but I didn't swim even once (a large part of that was the weather). We never really had a heat wave. My garden was a failure for the most part. And I didn't get nearly as much writing or reading done as I would have liked. So there's a sadness with that. But with the coming autumn there is anticipation. Crisp days (always my favorite) and the lovely colors that follow. Flavors of apples and pumpkin and venison (hopefully). The changing of the wardrobe - bringing out the clothes that have been packed away for months - the wonderful fall colors (plum, amber) that I know are waiting. Yeah, I know that autumn is followed by winter. But I also know that all seasons have their treasures and their horrors.
The passing of time is weighing on me more heavily than it used to. My oldest child is the same age I was when she was conceived. There are only a few more years until my nest is empty. But I know it will never truly be empty, because I will fill it with the many twigs and fibers that hold my interest. I used to be afraid of the future - always worrying about all the dangers. There are times when the unpleasant things get the better of me and I sink into the sadness of contemplating them (the loss of friends). But because I've always celebrated the change of seasons, I know that the spiral just keeps going.