Monday, August 31, 2009

Shifting


Today is the last day of August. This week my son starts back to high school. In a week my daughter will be back at college. My routine will be shifting to get up earlier. I tried this morning and did not succeed.

The garden (mostly weeds) is having it's last gasp. It's not been a kind year for growing in the Northeast. The weather is shifting - we're actually going to have a whole week of nice weather - sun and temps in the seventies. I'm starting to crave apples (I don't buy them year around even though I could). Already, October and November plans are shaping up.

The shift of seasons always brings a shift in mood for me - on the one hand I always find myself regretting the things I missed out on this passing season. It was summer, but I didn't swim even once (a large part of that was the weather). We never really had a heat wave. My garden was a failure for the most part. And I didn't get nearly as much writing or reading done as I would have liked. So there's a sadness with that. But with the coming autumn there is anticipation. Crisp days (always my favorite) and the lovely colors that follow. Flavors of apples and pumpkin and venison (hopefully). The changing of the wardrobe - bringing out the clothes that have been packed away for months - the wonderful fall colors (plum, amber) that I know are waiting. Yeah, I know that autumn is followed by winter. But I also know that all seasons have their treasures and their horrors.

The passing of time is weighing on me more heavily than it used to. My oldest child is the same age I was when she was conceived. There are only a few more years until my nest is empty. But I know it will never truly be empty, because I will fill it with the many twigs and fibers that hold my interest. I used to be afraid of the future - always worrying about all the dangers. There are times when the unpleasant things get the better of me and I sink into the sadness of contemplating them (the loss of friends). But because I've always celebrated the change of seasons, I know that the spiral just keeps going.


7 comments:

Mad Mar said...

Well said. For myself, I am looking forward to fall - it's my favorite season, though sometimes I think my favorite is whatever season is just beginning... Here in New England the cycle is so beautifully clear...

Scarlett Greyson said...

I completely empathize, Robin. This summer has been one of things not done for me too, though there were a few hilights as well.

But, I, too, adore the fall. The crisp tang in the air, the rustle of the leaves that swirl in the wind. I love it all.

Donna said...

This is a melancholy time of year, isn't it? But I too love autumn--it's always been a fruitful time for me, so fingers crossed we both can do some of those things we didn't manage to do this summer!

Erobintica said...

Mar, yeah, as each season comes on I look forward to what I like most about each - and it's true, here the seasons are more delineated than other places where I've lived.

Scarlett - how has your garden/mini-farm done this year?

Donna - yes, melancholy, most definitely. Autumn is usually a good time for me too (my anniversary is in autumn) and I always seem to have more energy. I am hoping that translates into writing this fall.

Craig Sorensen said...

Ah, apples and pumpkins and venison. Yes.

I am a fall person. I'm a transitions person, really. Fall and Spring are my favorites.

Here's to a fruitful fall for us all.

Marina said...

It's definitely feeling like fall here, and we're settling into the fall school/work routine. Next to spring, fall is my favorite - seems warm and cozy, with homey foods, crisp smells, beautiful colors.

Summer flew by - I didn't get anything done - am hoping fall will be more productive as well!

Emerald said...

I found this so beautiful, Robin. It actually almost moved me to tears, though I don't feel like seeking to explain why (even to myself).

I will say I have noticed a weather change in the past two days. Rick and I are in Baltimore for the three-game Yankees/Orioles series, and at the first game Monday night, I found myself chilly -- which it hadn't even occurred to me to consider as I decided what to wear (wore a denim miniskirt and boots with my jersey instead of jeans :)).

Thanks for this post Robin. Be well and hugs.