Shifting

Today is the last day of August. This week my son starts back to high school. In a week my daughter will be back at college. My routine will be shifting to get up earlier. I tried this morning and did not succeed.

The garden (mostly weeds) is having it's last gasp. It's not been a kind year for growing in the Northeast. The weather is shifting - we're actually going to have a whole week of nice weather - sun and temps in the seventies. I'm starting to crave apples (I don't buy them year around even though I could). Already, October and November plans are shaping up.

The shift of seasons always brings a shift in mood for me - on the one hand I always find myself regretting the things I missed out on this passing season. It was summer, but I didn't swim even once (a large part of that was the weather). We never really had a heat wave. My garden was a failure for the most part. And I didn't get nearly as much writing or reading done as I would have liked. So there's a sadness with that. But with the coming autumn there is anticipation. Crisp days (always my favorite) and the lovely colors that follow. Flavors of apples and pumpkin and venison (hopefully). The changing of the wardrobe - bringing out the clothes that have been packed away for months - the wonderful fall colors (plum, amber) that I know are waiting. Yeah, I know that autumn is followed by winter. But I also know that all seasons have their treasures and their horrors.

The passing of time is weighing on me more heavily than it used to. My oldest child is the same age I was when she was conceived. There are only a few more years until my nest is empty. But I know it will never truly be empty, because I will fill it with the many twigs and fibers that hold my interest. I used to be afraid of the future - always worrying about all the dangers. There are times when the unpleasant things get the better of me and I sink into the sadness of contemplating them (the loss of friends). But because I've always celebrated the change of seasons, I know that the spiral just keeps going.

A Grand Spicy Summer Sunday Finale!

As summer draws to a close and autumn drops hints of it's soon-to-be arrival, the Spicy Summer Sundays Blog tour concludes at the blog of Danielle de Santiago. In the tradition of preserving the bounty of summer, he's preparing chutneys, oils, and vinegars with some of the same spices we've touched on this summer. And even though I just ate dinner, my mouth was watering reading the recipes. So head over - I swear I can smell the bubbling chutney through my computer.

It's been a wonderful summer full of delightful food and wonderful discussion. Going back in time...

We were at salty P.S. Haven's for some pickle love.

Emerald pleased us with poppy seeds in a delicious summer salad.

BadAssKona showed off a distinctive woody shrub named Rosemary.

We got the basil basics at Marina St. Clare's.

Isabel Kerr had a love affair with ginger.

Jeremy Edwards did some dilly-dallying.

We learned the power of pepper at Craig Sorensen's.

Scarlett Greyson showed us a good thyme.

Gina Marie did not make cinnamon toast.

We all did some cumin over at Sommer Marsden's.

Neve Black got all cilantro on us.

Erobintica (little ole me) went a little nuts with the hot chili powder.

And Donna George Storey started off the summer with a number of spicy numbers.

So thank you Donna and Marina for putting this wonderful tour together. It's been quite a summer!

Now, if you haven't already, head over to Danielle's!

Might be quiet this week

This is the last full week of "summer vacation" before my son starts back to school and we have to move our daughter back to college and I am so fucking far behind on so many things that I think it's best if I keep my blog posts short and sweet. Though they may be a little sweaty too. But I think I should save my long, rambling ones for September. If you're wanting to read more, hit the archives. I've been doing this since last December.

P.S. Haven is a Salty Dog - Spicy Summer Sundays

Today is P.S. Haven's salty turn at the Spicy Summer Sundays blog tour! He's tickling our fancy with a mouthwatering pickle recipe. I've never made pickles myself, but I'm sorely tempted to try this recipe.

Since "salty dog" means (among other things) "libidinous male," as soon as I heard that Haven was doing salt, I thought of this here song. Because Haven is definitely libidinous. Duh. We all are! So here's some vids. We got some Procol Harum and then some Flogging Molly (with some lovely Jack Sparrow footage).

Then our Haven has an incredible amount of reading material for us, including a brand spanking new one just for our Spicy Summer Sundays! In all that, he reveals his obsession and asks about ours. But I'm not even giving a hint, you have to go read.

So head over to Haven's blog - Faster, Baby - that is if you're looking for a salt lick.

And since one of the things I'm obsessed about is just weird stuff, here's a video that is definitely in the weird column. Takes me back.

Why he writes

If anyone is interested in reading Stephen Elliott's essay "Why I Write," it's posted on The Rumpus today. A month or two ago I paid $3 to download it and it was well worth it. Stephen had said he was going to post it, but I was impatient. I'm not sorry, that's how good it is.

Except that I don't have time today (due to frantically trying to get ready for a short out-of-state trip with Hurricane Bill making me a little nervous), I'd put a snippet here. Maybe I will later if I can get my shit together.

Stephen Elliott's "Why I Write."

Looking beyond the dog days

They're finally here - hot, humid, hazy. Haven't taken a walk in days because it almost hurts to breathe the air. A bit late. Usually this kinda weather comes in July. We're in the second half of August. And it looks it - just the way all the green has changed. That coupled with the fact that school is starting soon for my kids (son's back to high school and daughter back to college) has me contemplating what I'm going to do this fall.

Lots of stuff has been marinating in my brain over the summer. I liked doing the interview with Randy Lagana and have more planned (if the various folks will agree). But I'm thinking of doing them more as a conversation than I did before. Not sure how that will work, but like I said, marinating.

I've also got to get myself some structure. I work better with routine, but I'm not good at making one - I seem to need them to come from the outside. This summer has seen a lot of floundering on my part. Deadlines passing by, neglected notes to self, and a sort of suspended animation brought on by my own lack of focus. I do a lot more than just this blog and I tend to be sporadic with everything. Which frustrates me. I am my own worst enemy. Somehow I have to change that. I've thought about doing the public to do list - but my fear of making a total and complete ass out of myself prevents me from doing more than let the thought spark from one neuron to the next.

Hopefully soon I'll get a post up about my impressions of our Gettysburg eroticist summit (or however Craig put it. I think it was Craig. Yes it was - found it while getting his link). I also want to get into the whole getting books signed thing - I'm gonna take pictures of some of my signed books to go with it and that's one thing that's holding me up. Also, to latch onto a current topic, but in a different way, I'm going to get into some nostalgia about Woodstock (no I wasn't there - I was only 11 years old at the time and lived in San Jose, California) - because it was one of those "formative" events in my life. Yeah, you're wondering how the hell?

I'm also going to slowly let my "other" writing self merge more with the Erobintica one. I just want to write and I think it's been counterproductive for me to try to keep everything separate. It's a bit of a mind fuck, and not in a good way.

So, those are just a few of the things I've been thinking about. There's lots more, but that's enough for now.

Pop over to Emerald's for Poppy Seeds

Spicy Summer Sundays continue at the blog of Emerald today. Her spice is poppy seeds. She's made a delicious summer salad and some autumn muffins in honor of this time of year. I was just saying to my husband yesterday that it definitely feels like the end of summer out - plants look different and there's some subtle change in the air. The topic of discussion is transitions - so pop on over to her blog and join us.

First 1st!

So I've been entering Alison Tyler's flasher contests at her blog Trollop with a Laptop since December of last year. I've missed some, but not many. I don't know how many I've entered - all I do know is I have a shitpile of buttons from the contests and more. So many I've forgotten what some of them are for. These stories are fun to write and there are some I've really liked and others that well...

But I'd never had one of my stories take 1st place. Until this past week.

And there's a now funny story about it. I wrote it while sitting in my husband's truck on the side of the Mass Pike as he tried to fix a leak and salvage a weekend trip (for just us two) up to Maine. This truck has a lonnnnnnnnng history. Let's just leave it at that. So I wrote this in a notebook and typed it into Alison's blog comments on my husband's computer in the motel room up in Maine. Needless to say, things didn't happen quite this way...

Roadside Discipline

The state trooper just left, warning us that if we’re not gone next time he comes by we’ll have to be towed. Tommy’s under the car, oil all over his face. I’m sitting here, pissed. Another trip screwed over by his insistence we take one of his precious project cars. He’ll pay. Soon his smiling face pops up in my window.

“All fixed!”

I say nothing. Just glare at him.

“I’m sorry honey. That hose needed replacing but I hadn’t gotten to it. Good thing I had extra with me.”

“Yes, good thing.”

He goes back to gather up tools. I step out, look around. Traffic is thinning with the coming dark. Headlights cast shadows as I bend down and pick up a piece of hose. Just long enough, I think, flexing it.

Tommy comes around the side of the car, sees me with the hose and gets this look.

“Come here.” He does.

“Hold onto the mirror.” He does.

I take the hose and wrap it around his wrists and the mirror.

“I’m really sorry honey.”

“Shut up.”

He knows what’s in store. Maybe. I rummage in his tool box until I find something suitable. A rubber belt of some sort. I don’t know car parts. But it will do. Then I yank down his board shorts, exposing his ass. I kick his legs apart.

“What if the cop comes back?”

“Shut up.”

The belt thwaps across his ass. His yelps are drowned by passing trucks. It’s too dark to see his cheeks redden, but I’m wet and wanting to fuck him so bad I can taste it. I reach around and feel his hot rod.

Hissing in his ear I tell him “You better make me come in record time.”

Not long after, the trooper returns just as Tommy starts the car.

“Looks like you got her started just in time. I was about to call the wrecker.” He looks over at me. “ And Ma’am, you have the patience of a saint.”

I smile at the officer.

Treading Water

Just now I realized I hadn't posted anything here since Monday. And it's Friday. Where did this week go?

Though I have lots to say, I don't really have any time to say it. Somewhat frustrating.

Seems I'm treading water - not going anywhere in particular - just biding time. Hopefully soon I'll be able to gather my thoughts and paddle in one direction or another. Till then - splash!

Wake up and smell the laptop

There is an article in The New York Times this morning about how people are waking up and turning on their laptops before they even have their morning coffee. Umm. Yeah. I turn my on first thing when I get up. I actually don't like to eat when I first get up anyhow. So it works.

They use some family whose morning "routine" has changed drastically with the introduction of technology. One of those mythical families that used to gather around the breakfast table. Like in movies. I have been a mom now for over twenty-five years. Only rarely do we all sit down together - most often on a weekend if I or my husband is fixing something "special." During the school year, my kids have had wildly divergent schedules, with the oldest (high school) having to be up at six am. For awhile I had three different morning schedules when my three kids were in high school, middle school, and elementary school. It went for almost three hours. The younger ones sure as hell didn't want to get up early so they could join their siblings around the table. And now that they're older, I let them sleep. Unless they need to be up for some reason.

It's summer, so my routine is not the same (no 6ams) - but I still usually turn on my laptop. Like this morning. Even though I'm in a hotel. I checked my email. One piece of junk and one thing I subscribe to - The New Verse News. It's a blog of "politically progressive poetry on current events and topical issues" and I've subscribed to it for a couple of years now. Nothing else this morning yet. It's summer and it's early - email has been slower than usual.

I know that lots of folks decry how technology has made us less something - fill in the something with whatever behavior you wish. But I always have trouble with those Luddisms. That it's somehow made our lives less rich.

Last night twelve of us, erotic writers/bloggers and some family members, took over a portion of a restaurant and closed the place down. We all "met" online. It was pretty cool. So tell me - how is my life less rich?

Bad Ass Rosemary

Oops. Wrong Rosemary. Hehe.

Today's Spicy Summer Sunday takes us to the blog of BadAssKona and he's cooking with Rosemary - the herb that is. He's sure to have some delectable dishes for us as well as other treats. So grab a sprig and head over there.

It's Like Camping!

Again an update! I am having a wonderful day! If I have time I'll post more later.

Update update: I got to sleep in so just up now at 10am. It's sunny and breezy so no need of the air conditioner which guess what? Is working fine - it apparently is on the same circuit breaker as the well (or at least it seems so - we're hoping the circuits weren't mislabeled and hubby did all the work on a live circuit with just the switch to the power turned off! So, no HVAC folks need to be called. We have water, and I'm hoping no leaky connections.

Update: Yay! It's 3am and we just finished the job. There were some leaks that we had to figure out, but we figured them out.

We're without water (no flushing toilets or running water for doing dishes) and the air conditioner is not working. Luckily the weather is pleasant. I noticed earlier today that it didn't kick on when the sun started beating on the house in the afternoon. Right now we'll worry about that tomorrow (it's central air and is tied in with our heating and hot water so maybe the fact that all the water drained out of the boiler flipped some SYSTEM IS FUCKED UP switch and once the rest is fixed we'll be okay. Otherwise we'll have to call the HVAC guy. We were do for a service call anyway - we'd just been holding out because of the fact it costs money.

At least we have electricity (goes to knock wood) - so I fixed tacos. Only the tortillas I bought were all broken when they came out of the package so I fried them up and we had tortilla chips and taco salad. And my husband is back to the big box hardware place because they didn't give him all the parts he needed when he was there getting everything he needed.

I washed dishes camping style and then threatened everyone with dire consequences if they dirty any more. Not being able to flush toilets is going to get old real fast (I know I know, I'm grossing you out).

Oh, by the way, that picture above was taken last year on our anniversary - yeah, we camped. I like camping. Honestly.

With everything that's been going wrong the past week (it was last Friday that hubby's truck broke down on the Mass Pike) I'm beginning to think we might have to make a sacrifice or something. I tried to find that scene from Help! when they're going to sacrifice Ringo, but couldn't, so here's the trailer - I gotta get me that on DVD. I remember standing in line to see that as a kid in Philadelphia. It was one of those movies that was formative. So, hopefully things will start looking up soon. I'm in a surprisingly good mood. Weird. I expect a medal for this - or something better. ;-)

When it rains it fucking pours

While I was out this morning doing some grocery shopping and picking up a job application, I got a call from my husband. Seems our water pressure tank - we are on a well and the well pumps the water into the tank and then it's ready for if someone turns on a faucet - and the whole setup is quite old and it's been on it's last legs for some time - you know where this is going don't you? Well, he was moving a saw (to clean it up and sell on ebay) and bumped something and ...

suddenly water is spraying all over that side of the basement (where he has all his tools and machines) and when he tried to turn the valve to stop the water it just turned and turned and turned and ...

So he turned off the power to the pump (before it pumped the well dry and burnt out) both at the switch and the circuit breaker. He thinks all the water in all the pipes in the house that could flow that direction did - and we have quite the nice wading pool in that corner of the basement. Also, now we have no water - to drink, wash with, do dishes, laundry, flush toilets. My daughter had just gotten back from a walk and was looking forward to a shower. I have a ton of laundry. So he's off at the plumbing supply place spending money we don't have.

It's hard, all this shit is happening to us and I really didn't want to sit here and complain, but hell.

That's all, just hell.

Slogging Forward

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So what did you do this weekend?

After my meltdown last week, I'd decided to leave my laptop behind when my husband and I went away to Maine for the weekend. Of course, he took his, and I did peek at email and blogs, but I really did a little bit of writing in my notebooks.

We tried to get an early start on Friday, before the rain hit. But. We had a wee bit of a technical difficulty about an hour and a half into the trip (on the Mass Pike) and the rain caught up with us. So, I sat and wrote a very short story and then finished reading a book I had along with me. We then got going again (basically lost 2 hours) and drove the rest of the way in the rain.

Along the way...

both the Springsteen and Aretha songs were going through my head at a gas station in Kittery.

North of Portland pulled into a rest stop at the same time as a van of a Quiverfull family (their license plate gave them away - ha - my husband thought it had something to do with archery at first). I rushed in ahead of the tide. I'm not sure how many kids they had, but it was at least 8.

Once we left the freeway it wasn't raining as hard. We got to our destination and checked in, then went for dinner. I had a lobster roll and a glass of white zin. Then for dessert I had a piece of homemade blueberry pie while this song was playing.

As we drove back to the motel, there was a spectacular sunset over the mountains. I tried to get it with my phone's camera, but I didn't have enough memory.

It wasn't the best of days, but let's just say it ended well.

Saturday morning dawned clear and beautiful. I wandered down to the lake while waiting for hubby to check his email.

We stopped and got gas for the chainsaw and picked up some breakfast and headed up to "our land" for a day of cutting wood and hauling sticks. But first we got to sit here for a bit. Usually at this time of year the waterfall is not this vigorous. It's been wetter than usual this summer.

We worked hard and got sweaty and tired. I got cranky. Very cranky. Part of the reason is that we are up there so infrequently and for such a short duration of time, that all we do is work and there isn't time to play.

Oh, and I've decided to change the location of my writing cabin (still in the planning stages) because of a number of factors. I'll talk more about that another time.

Our trip home on Sunday was uneventful (thankfully) and we got home last night about 9:30pm. Long tiring weekend. I don't feel like I got much accomplished. Today I'm doing laundry and then will head into NYC for a workshop. Yesterday tromping through woods, today through the city. It's a strange life.

I'm still in a weird place mentally. Maybe I just need a little space to not do anything in and that's certainly not going to happen any time soon.