That seems to be how I've spent the last ten years of my life. Seeking, looking, searching, wandering, wondering, hunting, digging, tracking, examining, exploring. The list of synonyms for what I've been doing is probably endless. Have I found anything? Yes. No. Many things. Nothing. Has it all just been a search for meaning? Maybe. Most likely I'll spend the rest of my life the same way. Sometimes I think - that's the point. To keep learning. I've been learning a lot lately. About myself. Some of these lessons, others in my life might not like. But I think my direction is to try and make them understand that this is me, it's always been me. Nothing has really changed. Even though it may seem that everything has. There are many sides to me. Some have not been seen before except in sidelong glances. But they're not new.
I don't know what all this means, other than - keep moving forward. Ardent has it's origins in words meaning "to burn." I'm not sure how that fits in, but it does.
and I'm sure you're all wondering - where's the erotica? don't worry - it's infusing everything these days.