Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Tell Me...

can something be wonderful and disappointing at the same time? If you were to ask me that question, in reference to this box of prompts and dares, I'd have to say, most emphatically, YES!

I'd ordered I Dare You: 30 Sealed Seductions by Susie Bright as a Valentine's Day present for my husband. Most of the sex games of the same ilk - variations of truth or dare - tend to be pretty stupid (at least the ones I've peeked at). But I figured, hey, this is Susie Bright, should be good, right?

The box is a gorgeous red and black affair, tied closed with a black ribbon. No need for wrapping paper. Inside, 30 gorgeous little envelopes are nestled in black velveteen. Pretty damn sexy. And since they were sealed, there was no sneaking a look ahead of time.

So, let's set the scene. Candle-lit bedroom. Box of dark chocolate truffle-filled hearts. Long-married couple that aren't as comfortable talking about sex as having it (even though one of them writes erotica and loves to talk about sex). Bottle of champagne. Add a box of I Dare You cards, mix well.

After a glass, maybe two, we started playing. My husband, it being his gift, drew the first envelope. A lovely ecru, they're not exactly easy to open. Problem number one. We both thought that they should have used that magic sticky note glue so they wouldn't tear. That's just our practical side coming out.

The first card was an I Dare You card. It was a pretty cool one too - but totally impractical right then. Problem number two.  Many of the Dare cards are not easily done "on the spot." We're not about to order take out at 11:30pm when we just had an expensive dinner out. And now, having gone through the whole set, all but a few are ones that left us sort of puzzled. My husband said that most of the suggested activities did not seem like a turn on, and were "more weird" than erotic. And since it's supposed to be a dare it should "be a trust thing but also have a mutual payoff." Also, I felt that some of the dare cards required more thought than action, too easy to get sidetracked with the details.

The Tell Me cards were better, because they got conversations started. And let me tell you, I love talking about sex, but Mr. E and I just have not done that much talking. So, even though we've been married a long time, there is plenty we don't know about each other and our sexual thoughts and experiences, etc.

Now, a week and a half later, we've looked at all the cards. There are some Dare cards that we'll definitely come back to another time. And there are even some Tell Me cards that probably could be revisited. But all in all, that's it.

BUT… even though in some ways this box of card wasn't as mind-blowing as we'd have liked (well, okay, as I would have liked), it did get us talking. That was my purpose in getting them. And Mr. E did come up with a very good I Dare You all on his own that night. And the box gave us ideas. It occurred to me that we could each write our own I Dare You and Tell Me cards.

So, all in all, I'd say that getting these cards was money very well spent. I'm very glad I got them. Because since that night, we've been talking more. So, thank you Susie!

Note: This was damn hard to write (yes Danielle, this is the post I've been promising for more than a week). It's hard to explain why you really liked something that you were disappointed in. Plus I tend to always feel like I'm not nearly as eloquent with my explanations as I'd like to be. But now, at 52, I've decided that I'd rather "dare" something that I might not be good at instead of playing it safe. 


Danielle said...

robin...i so can understand how you feel..because i friend of mine bought a year or so ago a similar set of cards by a german label and when i had a look at it i felt similar about the dare and question cards as you feel about this set...a lot was weird..rather unpractical then sexy...much needed preparation and wasnt made for a spontanious game at all...

could it be that you are okay with it but did expect more because its by susie bright? i just ask that because i totally love susies work and would possibly buy haggis on toast as long as it was made by susie.... the post..and LOVE the idea to make your own about just keeping the good ones and refill the bad ones with your own questions and dares???

Erobintica said...

LOLOL - haggis on toast - you may be very right Danielle. When I got to hear Susie read at In The Flesh (in NYC) a year ago, and have her sign my copy of "How to Write a Dirty Story" - I was simply in awe. She has been a goddess to me for many a year.

And yes, the mister and I were inspired.

Susie Bright said...

hi robin... it's susie; I just found your post. This is just what I was hoping for, a vicarious experience of what the cards were like for you. as you might imagine, I wish I could here EXACTLY which ones you liked answering, or thought you might take up at a another time.

i looked at a lot of lovers games before I composed this one. The dares are the hardest to write, because I didn't want anyone to have to get some crazy prop or spend a lot of money or prepare for days in advance. I wanted to just "get something started..." I'd like to know what you thought was "weird"... that could mean a lot of things. I tried to think of "dares" that lovers could bring their own personalities to. And... there's a couple I'd change now if I could. Maybe next edition! Your frank discussion is very helpful.

and you're right... that hard glue has GOT to go! shouldn't be such a struggle! But who knows, maybe that's fueling some people's suspense!

Scarlett Greyson said...

I understand totally what you mean, Robin! But I *am* glad it got you and Mr.E talking! That's the very important part!

and ya know...I feel like nothing I write will be good enough after Susie Bright's comment! ;)

Erobintica said...

Hey Susie, I'd be happy to tell you - I will shoot you an email (I was going to anyway because I figured you'd like to know about this review). I just didn't want to give away any of the cards - especially the ones that were great.

Scarlett - yeah, you know. ;-) And it is very good that we're talking.

Sophia Valenti said...

Sex games can often be goofy, but the fact that this one got you guys talking is great.

Everyone has different tastes, which is why these kinds of novelties can have amazingly varied results. But it sounds like this game is taking you in a positive direction.

Emerald said...

I've decided that I'd rather 'dare' something that I might not be good at instead of playing it safe.

That seems pretty cool in and of itself, yes?

Increased communication that you found supportive and/or stimulating sounds fabulous — congratulations on that emergence and on choosing to buy the cards!

Danielle said,
"would possibly buy haggis on toast as long as it was made by susie"