Monday, May 17, 2010

Thinking tangled thoughts out loud


My thoughts are tangled today, they've been tangled for days. I've been doing a lot of opening up lately. For the most part it's good. Exciting. But I also find myself wanting to close up. But I seem to have misplaced my shell. When I do think of just crawling inside and hiding out, the first thought that pops into my head is "can't do that, too much to do."

Is my busyness a protective mechanism to keep me from withdrawing from the world during this "stage" of my life? It could very well be. I don't like to let people down. So I commit to things in order to not give myself a chance to back out. But the flip side of that coin is that when circumstances occur that result in me letting someone down, I can tear myself up pretty good.

Why the hell am I admitting this? Shouldn't I be trying to convince everyone how invincible I am? Ha! Excuse me while I choke on my coffee.

6 comments:

Danielle said...

finish that coffe and stand up again...you are fine robin..and you will be finer..soon:-)

Jo said...

I love how the trees look so bleak. But when you click on the picture, it's all buds buds buds.

Erobintica said...

Danielle - thanks. Yeah, I "know" I'm fine, but sometimes... and that's nice sentiment - "you will be finer" :-)

Jo - yes, that picture was taken a couple of years ago on Block Island, early May. Everything was "almost" - there's something about that I like. Maybe the promise?

Emerald said...

"But I seem to have misplaced my shell."

I just love this line.

Hugs.

Mad Mar said...

(((((RES))))) <all those hugs are shaped a bit like little shields!

Erobintica said...

Thanks for the hugs, Em & Mar. They are much appreciated.